Getting started...

Well, I've finally done it! I've gotten off to a great start! I have lost a total of 5.5 pounds this first week. I have started running (and doing a lot of walking) and have been counting calories with the myfitnesspal app,which has been incredibly helpful. I can't say enough good things about it. The app allows me to track my caloric intake, add back in calories that I burned exercising, and track my weight loss...all while working along with my friends! I am able to see when they log in and follow their progress. This allows us to offer support and encouragement to one another and engage in a little friendly competition. It really may be what saves me!

I have also been trying to learn a lot about fitness and healthy eating. I have gone to the library and checked out books on running, clean eating, whole foods, and a few inspirational, self-help books! I am reading "Reshaping it All" by Candace Cameron Bure and it has already begun to shed a little light on my eating habits and WHY I eat the way I do. I have already learned not to focus on the "bad" things about myself, but to try and focus on what I love about myself. If I can concentrate on what I love about my body, I am much more inclined to take better care of myself! I am really hoping that the book will continue to enlighten me and assist me as I try to transform my life and learn to look at food and exercise in a whole new way.



The book suggests creating a list of incentives for weight loss...something that will encourage you to keep going. I can't seem to come up with anything! I have decided that I when I get to 35 pounds gone, I'd like to reward myself...but that's it. I can't think of with anything else. Any suggestions?

Living and Learning

Well, it's been a while. I've been busy learning a lot about myself...and my friends.

As far as my "plan" goes...I've decided not to follow a strict plan. I am going to try and make this a lifestyle change, as opposed to yet another quick-fix diet. I have learned my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) and have figured out an appropriate daily caloric intake. I am also trying to eat whole, organic, unprocessed foods and plenty of fruits and vegetables. I have decided to cut out meats, which I know are pumped full of antibiotics and other nasty stuff. I am also making a real effort to exercise each week day, for at least 30 minutes. I am starting a training program so I can run a 5K, 10K, and eventually, a half marathon. I will weigh in weekly and share my progress. I am taking it one day at a time and trying to be as patient with myself as possible.

I am so blessed to have a handful of women in my life that truly encourage me and lift me up. I am constantly reminded of this as we all walk the road together to finding our true, skinnier selves. We have been working together to help each other lose weight and get healthy and we've found a bunch of creative ways to do it. My tech-savvy friend created a "secret group" page on Facebook so we can post each day about our workouts and weight loss progress without the whole world knowing. It is so great because we support one another, while constantly raising the bar and challenging each other to work harder. We have also been using MyFitnessPal, an iPhone app. It allows us to "friend" each other so we can see each other's progress, track our caloric intake, track our workouts, and our weight loss. I can't express how much it means to me to have this strong support system! The weight loss journey is a very hard one and I don't think I could do it alone.

My next project is to make a chart of weight loss goals and rewards. The journey is underway! I've started...and that's the hardest part. Now, I just need to hang in there and make it to the finish line!

Here We Go Again...

Well, I'm already overwhelmed and completely bewildered. Here I am, at the beginning of my journey and I have already met with a huge problem: I have no idea what to do or how to go about reaching my weight loss goals. I have tried all kinds of diets and exercise programs in the past. I would try and make an excuse and say that none of them worked, but that is simply not the case. I'm sure that they all would have worked, and probably pretty well, if I would have stuck with them. And there in lies the ultimate problem...I have an extraordinary inability to stick to diet and exercise programs. In fact, if there were some type of Olympic competition in this category, I'm certain that I would be up for the gold medal year after year. 

In thinking about my ultimate goal, I would really like to get to a place in my life where the word "diet" never comes to mind and the word "exercise" doesn't make me cringe. In order to accomplish this, I know that I must make permanent changes to my lifestyle and eating habits. That is truly the only way that I will make a lasting impact on my health and overall well-being. We all know that there are no quick fixes. I am fairly certain that I do not have the strength, or the will power, to go about just "eating healthy foods" and being "active". Therefore, I definitely need a plan...ideally, one that I will fall in love with and never dream of quitting! I am on the hunt for the perfect plan...I'll let you know what I come up with. I really want to do this right. I want to make this the last time I start and the first time I finish!

Friends, Fat, and the 65

I have been greatly blessed by a merciful and loving God. He has given me an abundant life that is chock-full of opportunity, wonderful friends, an adoring husband, and a family I would never want to be without. Yet...in the midst of all these blessings, I still manage to focus on the one part of me that I feel isn't quite right; my body.

Some of my aforementioned wonderful friends and I happen to be walking similar paths in this regard. Sadly, I know that they can relate to my feelings. Several of us are trying to lose weight and get healthy together. As we meet and talk about losing weight, it is not uncommon for one or more of the many failed efforts in our past to take center stage. Inevitably, melancholy begins to descend over us and the self-defeatist talk ensues. I know that this may not seem like a positive...but it actually is. As soon as we begin to feel defeated, one of us reigns in the negativity and helps re-focus our efforts. We begin to remember and discuss why we want to be healthy and, of course, weigh less.

That brings me to my first task. I want to lose a total of 65 pounds. For this reason, I am going to try and brainstorm 65 reasons that I want to lose weight and get healthy. I am going to use this list as a reference throughout my weight-loss journey. Hopefully, looking back at it will help me keep my head in the game!

(Disclaimer: Some of these reasons may be a little ridiculous...feel free to have a laugh at my expense).

I want to lose weight and get fit because:

1. I want to get pregnant!
2. I want to have a healthy pregnancy.
3. I want to have a healthy baby.
4. I don't want diabetes.
5. I don't want high blood pressure.
6. I no longer want my double chin to rest on my chest while I type.
7. I want to wear sleeveless shirts and not worry about the circumference of my upper arm.
8. I want to wear a bathingsuit and not worry about the fact that the backs of my legs look like cottage cheese.
9. I want to go to a store and buy a size that doesn't humiliate me in the checkout line.
10. I want to look at a skinny person without immediately thinking...you must have such confidence and feel free to enjoy life...and be jealous that I don't have that.
11. I want to ride on a zip-line in a rainforest somewhere and not be concerned with looking absurd.
12. I want to look pretty in a picture again.
13. I want to be complimented.
14. I want to wear a sundress without a shrug.
15. I want to wear real work-out clothes...as opposed to a baggy t-shirt and shorts.
16. I want to run in a 5K.
17. I want to get my formerly big butt in a kayak and ride some rapids.
18. I don't want to have high cholesterol.
19. I want to wear a swimsuit without a skirt and feel good about it.
20. I want to run a half-marathon.
21. I want to eat right and not feel deprived...therefore leading to picking up the old, bad eating habits again.
22. I want to catch a surprise glimpse of myself in the mirror and be pleased...not horrified.
23. I want to look back at old pictures of myself with pride, not regret.
24. I don't want heart disease.
25. I want to vacation in Europe, walk around without getting tired, and be in as many cute pictures as I please.
26. I want to live for a really long time so I can, God willing, spend as much time as possible enjoying my husband.
27. I want to believe my husband when he tells me I'm beautiful.
28. I want to not look at skinny people and instantly think...you're skinnier than me.
29. I want to own a beach condo one day...and not be all fat and self-concious when I invite friends and family to come visit.
30. I want to ride in my husband's boat without wearing a tent for a cover-up.
31. I want to post pictures of myself on Facebook without worrying what other people think.
32. I don't want to be that really pretty skinny girl from high school that is now a big, fat 30 year old.
33. I don't want to be disappointed in myself anymore.
34. I want to learn about self-control.
35. I want to learn how to be patient with the weight-loss process.
36. I want to be able to think about something else while getting dressed.
37. I want to look back a year from now and think "Wow! You actually did it!!" instead of "Damnit."
38. I don't want food to rule my life anymore.
39. I don't want to sweat like a pig just because I step outside in the summer.
40. I don't want to exhaust myself by thinking up excuse after excuse for not wanting to exercise. It'd probably be a lot less work to just go do it.
41. I want muscular, yet feminine, shoulders, arms, abs, and legs.
42. I want to be strong.
43. I want to actually enjoy exercise and eating right.
44. I want to be that girl who gets excited about eating clean, whole foods.
45. I don't want to harm my body. Afterall, it's a gift from God.
46. I want to gain a different perspective on my body, my health, and my life.
47. I want to come out on the other side so I can help others walk this difficult journey.
48. I don't want to get cancer.
49. I want to wear heels without my feet screaming in violent protest.
50. I want to actually find a pair of those comfortable jeans people keep talking about.
51. I want my hands to be a little bony and veiny...not chubby.
52. I don't want cankles. Never did.
53. I don't want to beg my friends not to post pictures of me on Facebook and hear them say "You look great!" and not believe them.
54. I don't want to continue to talk about this.
55. I want to focus on more important things...and there are so many more important things.
56. I want to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.
57. I want a sassy, short hair cut that won't accentuate my triple chin.
58. I want to feel muscles in my body...actually working.
59. I want to put my feet in slender shoes and have them be comfortable.
60. I want this to be a distant memory.
61. I don't want chubby cheeks. I'm not a toddler.
62. I want attractive knees.
63. I want to feel good about myself!
64. I don't want to die from a preventable illness.
65. I want to live a happy and healthy life!

There you have it: sixty-five reasons that I want to lose weight and get fit. I'm going to do it! Stay tuned to see how.

The Ugly Truth

So...here it is. The ugly truth. I'm fat. 

Sadly, I am not one of those "I embrace my curves and love my body anyway" types. In fact, I am just the opposite. I let this seemingly simple, yet somehow impossible to overcome, ugly truth define me. I allow it to rule all areas of my life and monopolize my thoughts. I allow it to interfere with my desire to participate in activities that I would otherwise love to do. I allow it to slowly whittle away at my self-confidence. I allow it to defeat me...every minute of every day.

I acknowledge that this may sound a little melodramatic to some of you. For others of you, it may sound regretfully familiar. For me, it is the unfortunate, horribly frustrating truth that I have come to know and hate.

Obviously, I have tried a number of diets and exercise classes to help me win the battle of the bulge and I always do really well at first. Then, for some reason, my enthusiasm begins to wane and I inevitably revert back to old and self-destructive habits.

It is truly my hearts desire to find a way to overcome this sad reality once and for all. I am starting this blog (my first ever) in order to hold myself accountable for making the necessary, positive changes that will eventually lead to a healthy, happy, NEW me! I am going to share with you my plans, my progress, and even my failures and setbacks. I am hoping that this blog will inspire others...but honestly...I just hope it inspires me!